Just keep biking, just keep biking...

The boys LOVE the new seat arrangements.

About two weeks ago I had a really rough ride. I decided to meet my friends at the beach about 5.5 miles from my house. I took a route that was new to me and I ended up biking down a HUGE hill to get to the bike trail. On the way home I biked even farther up the trail hoping to find a way from the trail to my house without pushing my bike up a hill for half a mile... no dice. It took me 20 minutes to get to the beach... and it took me an hour and a half to get home. Not even counting the 30 minute break at McDonalds to catch my breath. Most of it was pushing my bike up a steep incline, with 65 lbs. of sleeping toddler on board, in the hot blazing sun. I cried when I got home.

Both the boys fell asleep on the way home from the beach.

After that I took about a week and a half off from biking. I wasn't motivated to get back on the bike and  the kids were sick anyway. But I knew I had to do it and I was afraid of losing the stamina I'd built up over the past couple months. Silas had the car and I needed to return some library books. Gideon was THRILLED to be going on a bike ride again and his enthusiasm rubbed off on me a bit. We tried a new route and it was flatter which left me pretty happy because it meant no more pushing up hills between my house and Lake City!

Used timercam to get a shot of us setting out for the library.

As we walked out of the library I knew something funky was going on. My basket was on the ground, instead of on my bike, and the kickstand was all weird.  I loaded the kids up, unlocked my bike and tried to move it... no go. After a few minutes of tinkering I discovered the problem. My front brakes had been disassembled and the brake pad was wedged between the rim and the spokes. The rear brakes were messed up too, but not as badly. Someone either knocked over or tried to steal my bike and screwed up my brakes in the process.

One of the pics I texted to the bike shop.

I was livid. Completely furious. Besides the fact someone had their grubby hands on my bike, they had had messed it up and then just left it. I obviously had two child seats on it. And now my bike was unrideable and I was stranded two miles from my house with two little kids at lunch time. I went into the library to ask the librarians if they had video surveillance of the bike rack. They didn't but felt bad for me and looked up a couple of numbers of mobile bike shops for me. I took the kids to the park adjoining the library and made some phone calls. None of the mobile units could get to me for a couple of hours. The guy offered to come pick up my bike, drive it to a shop, and bring it back to my house, but I still needed to get home with the kids.

And the other.

On a whim I called the shop nearest to the library (Revolution Cycles) to see if they could send someone over. The guy told me he was in Olympia but if I would text him pictures of the damage he could try to talk me through the repair. This sounded pretty laughable to me but I thought "why not?" and sent the pics. He called me back immediately with instructions on how to remove the front wheel and reassemble the brakes. All those hours I spent reading bicycle repair books (while Silas laughed at me) were not wasted! I was able to understand everything the guy was telling me and I fixed it!

The bike all loaded with groceries. Note: Sleeping Zeke.

Did you hear that? I FIXED IT! All the anger I was feeling melted away into a sense of accomplishment. I took the boys out to celebrate with coffee and treats at Kaffeeklatsch and then we even went grocery shopping. I was able to fit everything on the bike: My purse, diaper bag, a head of cabbage, a carton of strawberries, a case of Lara bars, a package of 12 chicken thighs,  a jug of laundry soap, and a slip 'n slide. BOO-YA! Happy ending.*

Today we went for a short ride to the park and a good time was had by all. Zeke toddled all over and ate some wood chips. (Don't worry - he barfed them up 2 minutes later.) Gideon played on the monkey bars and generally made me want to sob with his independence. And we didn't get rained on, despite the icky clouds!

We're all happy again and I have rides planned for tonight (We're meeting friends for dinner.) and tomorrow (The farmer's market is finally opening!!!!!) so I think I've got my riding mojo back. Ride on.

*I did yell at a motorist who passed us with about 6 inches of clearance. I almost dumped the bike in the bushes, I was so afraid he was going to hit is.  He pulled over and apologized. 

Sick children. Tired Mama. And no one owes me anything.

There is a quote from Bathtime and Beyond that says this: No one owes you anything because you've chosen to be a mother. It's important to realize that a sense of entitlement - feeling that God, your husband, your children, or the world owes you something because you are mothering and it's rough - can mess with your head and heart.

 This has been on my heart as both my kids and my husband have been sick all week.

 It's not all skittles and rainbows over here all the time. Wouldn't that be awesome?

Gideon has a fever, hives, and is generally whiney.

 Zeke still wakes up every three hours to nurse and Gideon has been waking with feverish nightmares. Plus I'm scared to let him sleep in his own room in case whatever caused his hives causes something worse.

 We have some sweet moments.

There are always sweet moments!

 But, you guys, I am so tired. And I need to remember that NO ONE OWES ME ANYTHING. Because otherwise I would be mad at everyone all the time for every bit of trouble I come in to.

So here's a list of a few things I'm grateful for to keep me humble. And to remind myself that I owe everything to other people.

#1. My husband who, even though he's been sick, has done laundry, run errands, and tried to work from home despite the crying children.

 #2. My mom got me a chocolate mold for my birthday and I've been making vegan chocolates. YUM! And surprisingly easy!

#3. My new sewing machine that I get to use in the moments the children will take the tv instead of me.

 #4. I finally perfected my "better than takeout" noodles! Recipe to follow... when I get some time.

#5. That most of the time the boys do actually get along and they like being together.

I'm really hoping we're at the tail end of this sickness so I'll be back soon with some more upbeat life and quilting news!

Coming out of the fog.

It's just past 9:30 and both the kids are asleep in their beds and they have been for almost an hour now. In fact, before I started writing this post I even sat on my bed and read a book for 45 minutes! The hours between 8:00 and 12:00 are my newly discovered hours of freedom, quiet time, my getting-stuff-done time. And the novelty of it has not worn off yet. Will it ever?

For 11 months I have not had more than a few moments to myself at a time because my sweet, squishy, lovey Zeke has needed almost constant physical contact. And this week he suddenly decided to start taking naps by himself. I don't even have to rock or nurse him to sleep. I set him on the crib mattress on the floor in our room and I say "Zekey, it's bed time." and he talks a little or pouts, plays with his feet for awhile, then goes to sleep.

The enormity of it. That I am even typing these words. I am coming out of a high needs baby induced fog. For almost a whole year I have slept with a baby on my chest. Almost constantly I have been holding or wearing a baby that cries whenever he is put down. A baby that would wake out of a dead sleep the moment his body was not touching mine. And who wakes up to nurse every 2-3 hours.

Zeke is walking. He's crossing over from baby to toddler and I guess I knew in my head that babies grow up but I truly did feel, in my heart, that it was never ever going to happen to Zeke. Over the past year I have not written much, on this blog or otherwise. But in the past week I have written more than I have in the past two years put together. I am coming awake with Spring and it tastes wonderful!

The days I spend with my children are the most joyful I can imagine. And the evenings I spend alone or with my husband are inspiring and restful. I am thankful for both and imagine I will feel even more so after a full night's sleep... which I am praying is the next great leap on this path to toddlerhood.

Poem

Sticky cheeks and sticky toes.
Hair that seems to never grow.
Soft like nothing else.
He'll have nothing else,
But me.

The smell of milk; sweet and fresh
Lingers on your slumber breath
Squishy with a heavy feel,
Fingers, fist, clasp of steel,
Slip on a banana peel.

I am so fucking enlightened
In the most cliched of ways.
Bring me a sari and a dot
I will show by how to rot
In a prison of your body.

Pull it together, oh wise one.
Are you wise like my baby?
I lecture myself to have faith like my child
Or maybe he lectures me
Or maybe God.

We fall asleep together
Smelling more like vinegar than ice cream
Despite my waking reproaches
Bliss approaches.

I have a dream.

And that dream is to have a bakfiets cargo bike instead of a second car. Think Emily Finch.

So I'm on day 5 of biking every day. I know that before I can think about buying a bakfiets I need to be fit enough to ride one up hills!

I stalked Craigslist for a good deal on a bike trailer and now I can take the kiddos with me on rides. This is great because it means I can ride when Silas is at work... which is most of the rideable hours in a day.

 We biked to the library the other day which is about a mile and half away. I did really well on the way there... but was feeling faint by the time I got home.

It's all neighborhood roads with little traffic so I feel safe taking them in the trailer, something I would avoid in heavily trafficked areas. 

We got "The Best Bike Ride Ever" for Gideon to read. One of the authors is from Eugene :)

And I picked up "Bike Snob; Systematically & Mercilessly Realigning the World of Cycling". I haven't been reading as much as I'd like to lately but I'm already almost done with this one.

 Gideon loves his helmet but Zeke is not such a fan.

 He much prefers riding solo than sharing the trailer with Gideon. I think because Gideon is constantly poking, kissing, hugging, licking, or otherwise touching him. 

 I made a seat cover for my bike seat since it's being stored outside and I have a gel seat. Note: gel seats do not just dry off. You sit on them and they soak you through your underwear.

 After our first family ride Gideon got out of the trailer, climbed onto his trike, and pedaled. For the first time. I have been trying to get him to pedal his tricycle for almost a year! Apparently it didn't make sense to him until he watched me do it.

  I'll leave you with these thoughts from Bike Snob.

Saturday means...

...lounging around in bed with the kids for an hour or two.

...watching Gideon read to himself while I make breakfast.

 ...drinking coffee slowly.

 ...organizing bookshelves.

 ...driving 45 minutes for a Craigslist deal.

...taking my new bike out for a spin in a thunderstorm.

 ...finishing a quilt. (It will be in my Etsy shop soon!)

 ...making tortillas for dinner.

 ...watching Zeke eat his first burrito!

 ...indulging in homemade sopapillas.

Hope you're having a great weekend :)

Back to cloth diapering!

After struggling with ammonia in my diapers for a long time while we were in Pittsburgh I stopped cloth diapering. I couldn't get rid of the ammonia and Gideon was getting chemical burns because of it. So we made the switch to disposables. It was an expensive switch but we decided it was best. Sadly, I packed my diapers away in a tub. 

When it was time to move to Seattle I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of the diapers. So I brought them with. And recently I decided to do a little more research and search a little harder for a solution. I found that the hard water in Pittsburgh might have been contributing to my ammonia problems.

So I bought some funk rock detergent and soaked my diapers in the bathtub over night. Then I washed and dried them and put them to use. The Fuzzi Bunz no longer fit Gideon but the Bum Genius still work on the biggest setting.

I made a point of trying to change the boys as soon as I thought they were wet. I took the liners out and put them in the diaper pail right away. I made sure to wash my diapers every other day. And SURPRISE! I seem to be winning the battle!

I still have problems with one or two of my diapers smelling but I'm hoping with a couple more soaks they will be as fresh as the others. And on the whole I am very happy with my results!

 My wallet is happy that I've saved almost $20 in ONE WEEK by not paying for disposables. AND now that I'm not throwing away diapers all my trash for one week finally fits in my trash can so I don't have to pay to dump extra trash at the dump!

 And, I mean, COME ONE, that tush is cute.