The kids are adjusting to SF. They aren't there yet, but I am hoping so hard that this is the worst of it. Zeke is a sobbing mess about half the time and begging to be held the other half. I don't know everything he's thinking, if it's the move, or the new baby, or just his developmental stage, but he's dealing with big feelings. Remaining calm and offering hugs is usually all he needs but I have a hard time remaining calm when I would also like to be throwing an adult tantrum about my own feelings. And I don't always have the free hands for hugs. So I ordered a toddler carrier for him because he kept asking to be worn but was too big for my baby carrier. I already don't know how I managed without it.
Miriam is just a fun little person to be around. She had been sleeping through the night since she was a couple weeks old but just recently decided to get up and party at 5 am every morning. Since I cut out dairy AND eggs she's hardly ever fussy as long as she can be held. She gives smiles freely. She haaaates her car seat. Her breath smells sweet and amazing and I sniff it whenever I can.
Gideon is fun, and sassy, and giggly, and stubborn, and thinks a lot about how things work. He appreciates beauty in many things and frequently asks me to take pictures of things he finds pretty. He loves making art. Drawing, painting, and glitter glueing are his favorites. He asks so many questions I don't know the answers to and has big opinions. He's really excited about getting a bunk bed for the new apartment and getting to sleep on the top bunk.
That's pretty much it for now. I've had a lot on my mind about mothering but hardly any time to think deeply or further develop some thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head. I don't care for being alone but I do miss having space in my brain for thinking about anything other than keeping my kids fed, clothed, and content. I can't wait to get back on my bike, as that's usually where I do a lot of thinking. I don't know how to end this post so I'll leave you with a quote I recently came across.
“It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling...” Aldous Huxley