Those are some pretty heavy words. Uncomfortable words. Proof that no matter how high tech our society is, we control next to nothing. Fear still grips us, hearts still hurt, people still die. Sunday I found out one of my friends, Ben, died in a tragic accident. He was 24, the same age as Silas.
This, coupled with the fact that the one year anniversary of Jason's death is coming next month, has me down. Really down. And not just down with pain. Down with fear.
Sometimes when I drop Silas off from work I have a panic attack and wonder if I will ever see him again. Sometimes I look at Gideon and my heart wrenches with terror at the thought of anything ever happening to him.
When Ben was born I bet it never even crossed his mother's mind that she would have to bury him at 24. When Jason was born my aunt could never have imagined the he would get sick and she would only have five years with him. I fear because I KNOW that things happen that you never expect. Cancer strikes. Dressers fall. Accidents happen.
But I don't want to be a slave to fear. I don't want every joyful moment I have to be mixed with terror. How can fear and joy co-exist in one heart? I don't think they can. And for my part I choose joy. I choose it, but I'm not there yet. Soon, I pray, soon.
Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. - John 14:1
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. - Romans 8:15
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. - 2 Timothy 1:7
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. - 1 John 4:18
Oh God! Make me perfect in love! Cast out my fear!