Last night I dreamed I was at an airport. I was sitting by myself on a chair. People I knew from different places and stages of my life were walking to and fro. Some were hurrying to catch a flight and some were just landing. Some stopped to say hi to me and some ignored me and went on their way. My best friend from highschool walked by with her fiancee and when she saw me she smiled and waved.
All of a sudden I saw my aunt, Jacki, and cousin, Jason, coming down an escalator towards me. I was struck by their appearance. My aunt looked like I remembered her from when I was a little kid, very young. And Jason looked older, probably around six or seven. And he was healthy. I can't even explain how healthy he looked. I started getting sick when he was 3, so I wouldn't even know how to imagine him being healthy but when I saw him in my dream it was like "Of course that's how he'd look!"
My aunt and I started talking. She said they had just come from the hospital and that Jason had gotten a clean bill of health and was ready to start school next week. Jason was playing on the escalator and kept calling over to me in his raspy little voice and giggling. (Oh! how I miss how he would call to me! "Elisabeth, come here! You're so silly!") We started planning my next trip to Iowa to visit with them. I told Jason I'd see him soon and they hurried off to catch their flight home.
You know how sometimes you wake up from dreams thinking they're true? Well I woke up excited to plan my trip to Iowa. I remember, in my half dreaming state thinking "I can't wait to see him, it's been so long! How long has it been?" As I woke up a little more I realized my mistake. I had been dreaming. I won't get to Jason again on this earth. I wanted to go back to sleep, to keep dreaming, but I couldn't.
When I first woke up I thought this was going to be a hard day. Usually when Jason is on my mind I can't help but be sad and mopy. The whole day drags on and I'm on the cusp of a breakdown the whole day. But somehow this dream has been comforting and healing on a level I did not think possible. It is like a huge warm hug to my heart. It reminded me that Jason's soul is eternal. He hasn't ceased to exhist! He's still alive, just in a different place. And he is well and his body is perfect!
I've cried about this dream twice today. And while part of the reason I've cried is because I miss him so much, the other reason I've cried is for joy. I've been so encouraged. I will get to see him again. No, really, I WILL SEE HIM AGAIN! I've always believed that I will see him again in heaven, but seeing him in my dream, growing up and going on with his life, it felt real. I don't know when we will get to play together again, but I'm reminded that we will.
I don't believe that I need to feel like God's promises are real for them to be real. But I'm thankful that God has seen fit to encourage my heart in this.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalm 34:18
Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled: "Death is swallowed up in victory. - 1 Corinthians 15:54
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. - Isaiah 61:3