Friday, June 8, 2012

Stupid fake contractions.

It started out as a great pregnancy day. That is, after I convinced my hips they really were designed to work even with a baby head lodged in between them. I got myself and Gideon dressed and fed and out the door. On the way to drop Silas off at work I commented how my dansko tennis shoes and denim skirt (only bottom that still fits me) had me looking like homeschool mom again. He reminded me that that's a "look" here in Seattle that is not necessarily correlated with homeschool moms and went on his way. I love Seattle. I was feeling so good I decided that we were going to go to Costco.

For the past couple weeks I've been avoiding Costco because walking/standing for long periods of time makes me have contractions. And because my hips really have been horrid to me these past weeks. But -wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles - not today! Today I felt like the queen of being pregnant! (Seriously, at 37 1/2 weeks that's a miracle.)

So I set off to Costco! Gideon and I wandered through the whole store. I got an iron which was much needed and an ice cream maker, which was less needed but on sale, and even a cute little new born outfit! Do you know how hard it is to get a gender neutral newborn outfit? Surprisingly impossible. But I got a cute grey one with elephants on it. We got our traditional pizza and mocha freeze on our way out. And you know what? I was still feeling great!

So I did what any sane woman would do and went to Target! Gideon and I picked out some onsies for the new baby. He wanted the ones with baseballs but I reminded him that we might have a girl instead of a boy and then what? Then he selected ones with boats which, while cute, were blue and, again, I reminded him that if it's a girl that might not be best. Finally we settled on some yellow and green ones with chickies on them and Gideon made adorable chick sounds.

While perusing the sheets (I am on a mission to find a set of king sheets for under $30 before the birth) I heard a woman in the next aisle over talking on a cell phone "No! Really! I had bloody show this morning! I'd go into more detail but I'm afraid I'll shock the other shoppers here at Target. But yeah! It's really happening!" This was too much for me and I stealthily crept around the corner to take a peek at this lucky, lucky woman. Sure enough, she was super duper pregnant. Probably at or past her due date - she looked bigger than I was.

I want to run over to this woman and say "Pardon me, I over heard your phone conversation and CONGRATULATIONS! I'm so jealous!" But I didn't. This lady was probably about to go through several hours of very hard work that is labor and I didn't want to get in her space. I had to get cream since I somehow forgot at Costco. And right there in the dairy aisle I had a giant contraction that had me doubled over the cart handle. I nervously, inconspicuously, checked to see if there was water pouring down my legs. After the way my water broke with Gideon I am kind of paranoid about my water breaking in a public place. So far, so good.

Thankfully, I was done shopping because I had another contraction in the checkout lane and another in the parking garage. For a minute I was kind of excited but of course as soon as I got home they stopped.

Stupid fake contractions.


  1. They aren't "fake", silly. They are doing work. They just aren't the ones that lead imminently to birth. Hang in there.

  2. Naomi TwietmeyerJune 8, 2012 at 7:22 PM

    I love your stories. :) You had me laughing out loud at the part where you went to Target. Bravo!!! :) :) :hugs: Soon you'll have your precious baby in your arms and you'll be able to go shopping without wondering about the water streaming down your legs. ;) :)

  3. Oh yeah, girls can't play baseball or go boating!! (haha, this is one of my pet peeves. I dress Aftasie in firetruck pajamas and blue all of the time. Now that I think of it, though, I don't really like to dress her in sports clothes because they're mostly branded and I don't like dressing her (or myself, for that matter) in branded stuff. You know, the kind that's free advertising...
    You are going to have a baby SOON though! :D That is exciting.

  4. I actually wouldn't mind dressing a daughter in those things - it's just that I really don't like people hovering over my baby so it's easier to not have to answer questions about why my "girl" is dressed in "boy" clothes. It basically comes down to me avoiding small talk with strangers, haha.

  5. Agreeing! Come on more contractions! :-)
    And Gideon is so cute. I'm sure he's gonna love his baby brother/sister.

  6. Ah. I just let them think it's a boy/girl whatever. I don't really care if I don't care to talk with them.


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