Saturday, August 24, 2013

My vice; Crap cereal.


  1. Moral depravity or corruption
  2. A moral fault or failing
  3. A habitual and usually trivial shortcoming: Foible
I am not going to lie; I have several vices. Fabric shopping/hoarding is a pretty harmless one to anyone other my bank account. My habit of shifting blame onto other people to avoid confrontation is more serious and less fun to talk about. And my compulsion to find the perfect dairy-free latte is pretty pointless and, I like to think, endearing. All of these I work on, when I think about it, and deny myself the pleasures of fabric, getting along with people, and coffee. But my biggest vice, and the one I just can't seem to shake, is crap cereal.

Lucky Charms. Peanut-butter Captain Crunch. Apple Jacks. Those are the big three offenders. If something goes awry in my life, I am under stress, or I just feel like indulging, you can bet I'm going to be making a little detour to Safeway to pick up my crap cereal fix. Now I can't have milk because of the Dairy-free thing, but I douse that junk in coconut milk as soon as the kids go to bed.

"Oh, Elisabeth!" you say "Can't you find a healthier alternative?" I have looked. I have tried all the cereal in the health food store and let me tell you. PEANUT BUTTER PANDA PUFFS DO NOT CUT IT. Don't give me that evaporated cane juice line. Do I look like a big fat chump to you? Don't answer that. The point is; I would like my high fructose corn syrup over cornmeal and food coloring, please.

This is my personal vice. As in, I do not share the the members of my household. Silas doesn't touch the stuff. The kids don't know it exists. You can call it love... or you could call it selfishness. As a treat I occasionally feed them the organic, whole grain, low sugar cereal I buy at PCC or Trader Joe's. Haha, naive children. But this week I fell down on the job of shielding my children from the evils of commercial cereal.

I haven't slept that well lately and I've had an eye infection for going on a week now. So when I got up yesterday morning, instead of making scrambled eggs as usual, I poured each of my kids a bowl of Lucky Charms I'd been hiding on top of the fridge for emergencies. In one moment of weakness I had committed a grave error of judgement. Their minds were blown.

Gideon: What cereal is this!?!
Me: It's called Lucky Charms.
Gideon: I WOVE it!
Me: It's yummy isn't it?
Gideon: I want more Mickey Joe's!
Me: Lucky Charms?
Gideon: Yeah, dose.

Le sigh. I am going to have to work harder to protect this vice... or maybe give it up entirely.


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